The Toxic Side of Positivity

Today’s blog post was inspired by a topic we covered in my free 3-day Know Yourself Better challenge, and that is judgement of emotions. What I mean by this is our tendency, especially in the personal development word, to judge feelings as either good or bad and subsequently judging ourselves when we feel anything other than “high vibe”.

Developing a positive mindset, prioritizing happiness and remaining optimistic are vital for a happy, healthy & fulfilling life- but this doesn’t mean any other feelings are bad and you’re doing something wrong when you experience them! This is a very important distinction that is often overlooked, and this is partially because too much positivity can become toxic – we then expect ourselves to be positive all the time which is unattainable and therefore we feel like we’ve failed when we inevitably experience anything other than happiness.

All emotions & feelings are valuable, they all serve a purpose and are all part of the human experience. It is unrealistic, unhealthy & unattainable to be happy & positive all the time. All feelings are valid and it is detrimental to your health to avoid or deny them, they all provide valuable feedback and they provide context for each other – our highs wouldn’t feel high of we never experienced the lows. But what I really wanted to talk about today, was the judgement we place on ourselves when we experience anything other than happiness.

We beat ourselves up as if we don’t already feel bad enough, we think things like “I shouldn’t be feeling this way, I’m supposed to be positive, this hurts, I want to be happy”. We can prefer certain emotions but we shouldn’t judge the “negative” emotions. When we judge our feeling as good or bad we resist the ones we don’t want to feel. We are inflicting unnecessary suffering on ourselves by resisting and denying the full spectrum of emotions. What we can do instead is practice releasing judgement and replacing it with compassion. Change the narrative, instead of judging yourself for feeling this way know that it is ok to feel xyz sometimes and it doesn’t mean anything is wrong with me or my life, this will pass and serves a purpose in my life. This is also an opportunity (after you’ve allowed yourself to feel) to reflect on why you’re feeling this way, our emotions hold clues to fears, wounds, unacknowledged desires and misalignment in your life.

We need to embrace the entire experience, the highs to lows the dark and the light in order to be truly happy. When we embrace this holistic approach to life we are no longer living in a state of resistance and we remain open and in flow with life- and that is where we find true happiness, love, satisfaction and growth.